This has been on my mind a lot. My four year old son has recently decided that he does not like television characters whose skin color is different than his own. I have engaged him in several conversations explaining that God made people of all different skin colors and each person is equally special. I have tried to explain that what matters to God – and what should matter to us – is the inside or heart of the person; not their exterior. Where does this attitude come from? Certainly Adam and I haven’t exhibited this behavior. One thing that I have missed from living in Chicago is diversity. Adam and I had friends of all different skin colors. Race wasn’t a determining factor in our relationships. But let’s face it. Romeo is predominately white. And since my son was born here, the faces that he sees in Romeo are his frame of reference. Romeo is his comfort zone. Isn’t it human nature to be suspicious of the unfamiliar and unknown? I’m not saying that my son’s current attitude is acceptable. But I do see that one of my responsibilities as a parent is to show that there is nothing to fear in accepting other people’s differences. Whether it be their skin color or something else. I guess this means I also need to examine my own heart. Am I fearful? Am I self-righteous? What prejudices do I harbor?
You’re blessed when you get your inside world – your mind and heart – put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
Matthew 5:8 (The Message)
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I come from a family who is not prejudice but my extended family was. I was even given a speech from my grandfather about how he didn’t want any (black) grandchildren. (I replace the word he actually used because it was an offensive term). I am sad that he did not live to meet his great-grandchildren. My brother has since adopted two Black children, one Hispanic and one baby soon to be adopted is bi-racial. We are so fortunate that we have a diverse family and friends and I don’t take that lightly. I know that had my parents not move from Oklahoma to MI, I may have grown up around that negative mindset. I think Paul is going through a natural process of recognizing the difference between himself and others and if you continue talking positively he will come out of it with a great outlook.
Thanks Kim. I agree that Paul is going through is a normal process of self-discovery. I’m not too worried since he is only four but it is interesting to try to understand his thought process. For example, I was born in Indonesia and my first trip to the US was when I was three. I carried my favorite brown skinned baby doll everywhere I went (because the babies that I grew up around had brown skin). I’m told that the first time I met an African American, I was so excited and spouted off to him in Indonesian thinking that I he was from Indonesia too.
“what matters to God – and what should matter to us – is the inside or heart of the person; not their exterior”
I think we might be missing the point if we tell our kids “what’s on the outside doesn’t matter”. It’s true that you can’t value or devalue a person based solely on their outsides, but to say that outsides don’t matter is to deny that God created us different on the outside for a PURPOSE! God thinks diversity is beautiful and He will not let the Church rest until we have pursued every tribe, tongue, and nation to glorify His Name! His plan is to be worshipped by at least some of EVERY people group (in every shape and color) that exist! So we don’t say “black is MORE beautiful than white” and we don’t say “white and black are exactly the same” but maybe “God loves everyone equally, but made each person different so He could love us inside and out!” One way I personally think of it is that each of my girlfriends are beautiful jewels (like the 12 stones in the breastpiece of the priestly wardrobe in Exodus 28:15-21) – unique, but equally gorgeous in their own precious ways! What one brings to my life, another cannot duplicate. We SEEK a diverse community of relationships partly so that we can get a better taste of what Heaven will be like! We’re missing out on some amazing stuff if we keep to our own family/race/town! Go therefore and make disciples of all nations!
Laura,
I recognize that I stopped short after writing, “God made people of all different skin colors and each person is equally special.” I agree that God created us differently for a purpose. I look forward to the day when people from every tribe, tongue and nation will worship together for the purpose of bringing glory to our Creator. Thanks for leaving your comment.